During a negotiation process you must focus on your tone and body language as well as the questions you ask. It’s important to keep an open mind and show a genuine interest in what your communicator says. Maintain a friendly demeanor and speak in a calm, clear tone to show respect for the conversation. Avoid using harsh language as it makes your communicator feel uncomfortable or exposed. Remember, negotiations are a professional exchange, so conduct yourself accordingly.

Keep yourself calm and optimistic when negotiating, you don’t want your communicator to see your vulnerabilities or synchronize the same uncertainty as yourself. Always remember to smile and indicate an open body language to let them know you share their view. Using your arms when communicating indicates interest for your communicator rather than resting them in your lap or crossing them across your chest – this instead indicates offensiveness or dominance.

Some negotiations can quickly turn into interviews and you should therefore be cautious what questions you ask. Asking “what” and “how” is usually the way to go as your curiosity leads to the main answer of the communication. Avoid asking “why“! Asking your target “why” interferes with the relationship between negotiator and communicator – it creates defensiveness which easily turns into offensiveness. Having empathy matters because you want to show you care about your communicator. Consider using calibrated questions to shape thinking such as

• “how do I do that?“
• “what do I get out of it?“
• “what is the outcome?“